The Mimic Octopus

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I’m back with another weird dating story because apparently I’m a creepster magnet. After the guy I thought was “the one” broke my heart, I started going out with friends and partying a little more than normal to help deal with my heartbreak. Sometimes the liquid courage led to me giving out my number to people that would not normally have the privilege of my digits.

This happened on one of my calmer nights out. I wasn’t slamming shots with my girls, or guys, I was having a few drinks here and there — pacing myself.

Despite that I somehow got sucked into the creep zone (kind of like The Twilight Zone but full of guys with bad teeth and body odor).

I was sitting alone on a barstool and saw someone literally waving me down from three feet away. I tried to ignore him but that little hand was persistent!

I smiled and he tried to drunkenly mouth something to me so I quickly looked away. A few minutes later he literally appeared out of thin air next to me. Red flag number 1: He’s a magician! (No offense to you real magicians out there.)

Several drinks later and one too-close-for-comfort hand on the back later, he had given me enough of a buzz to get my digits. Even though as he was leaving the bar I blatantly ignored him, he texted me a few days later.

“Hey pretty girl, it’s Zack from the bar on Tuesday.”

I was with one of my good guy friends and he told me just to delete it, that it was for the best. So I did, I mean I’d been through a break-up and didn’t want to hurt anyone else’s feelings. I was not looking for a relationship or anything else for that matter.

The next day he raised the world’s largest red flag — only I didn’t realize it. He texted me the strangest thing I had ever heard…

“Have you seen that video of the mimic octopus?”

To this day I still have no idea what a mimic octopus is but my friends and all enjoyed a laugh at his expense (Sorry, Zack!). But ultimately, he got the last laugh. I had deleted his texts from the day before so I got this quirky message from a number I didn’t know and was intrigued. Something tells me we’ll hear more from Zach, the Mimic Octopus.

xo,

Dame Dessa

(Do you have a dating story? We’d love to hear from you! Send your stories to down2datemail@gmail.com and we’ll include you in an upcoming blog. As always, you’ll be anonymous!)

(Photo Credit: Neptune Canada, Flickr)//

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5 thoughts on “The Mimic Octopus

  1. DatingCat

    Dear Dame Dessa

    It sounds like Zack was probably trying a little too hard to sound interesting but good on him for trying. At least he texted you and didn’t just chicken out . Hopefully he’ll learn from his mistakes and improve his initially approach and charm skills. He was likely referring to a really cool video of an octopus that mimics other sea creatures. It has over three million views on YouTube and is worth knowing about.

    Best wishes

    Dating Cat

    ps
    If you’re “not looking for a relationship or anything else for that matter” (e.g. text messages from a stranger) then don’t give out your number. It doesn’t matter if you ignore them as you are leaving because rightly or wrongly they will still feel that they have permission to text you. The suggestion that it’s OK to give out your number because you don’t want to hurt their feelings is a little ridiculous. They will feel much worse when you make no effort to text back despite having given your number to him. On the plus side (for you) you will have avoided having to say “Sorry, but I don’t want to give my number out.”.

    • Thanks for the advice, Dating Cat. I have a hard time being blunt with people — and generally don’t ignore texts. I’m usually too nice, but at this particular time I was in a heartbroken state that impaired my judgement. Thanks for reading!

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