The Date with Daddy Issues

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Tinder tragedies seem to happen more often than not and we have another GREAT recent story for you. A guy quickly learned a new Tinder photo red flag.

After having Dame Della tell me about Tinder, I set up a profile and got to swiping. It wasn’t long before I had a slew of matches to choose from but I was hesitant to meet anyone from the dating app (especially after hearing about Dame’s date with the San Francisco Sociopath).

Then the weather got warm and beautiful and all I wanted to do was enjoy a beer on a patio. My friends were all working or preoccupied so I started chatting up Ms. Daddy Issues who agreed to meet me for a drink (mind you, this was 2 pm on a Friday).

When I first saw her, I was proud of myself. She was dressed well, had beautiful brunette hair and gorgeous eyes. And then she opened her mouth…

If my jaw didn’t drop, I’m surprised. Daddy Issues was missing two VERY IMPORTANT teeth.

I’m not a complete douchebag so I stayed around and had some drinks with her despite the fact that her mouth was an eyesore. We had beers and discussed her family — especially her dad. Things were going quite well and her dad and I even had a few similarities (not really a red flag…yet).

A couple hours into the date we shared our first kiss. That’s when it happened.

“F*** you, dad,” Ms. Daddy Issues said, shaking a fist, immediately after we locked lips.

Um…what?! It was this exact moment I knew this would go nowhere — and I was fine with that. I recently accepted a job in San Francisco (across the country from where I am now) so I wasn’t looking for anything long term anyway. I broke down and let her know I was leaving and that this probably wouldn’t go anywhere.

“Distance doesn’t scare me,” was her response. She was NOT getting the hint.

My friends finished up at work and decided to meet us for some cold spring beers. Luckily, this was enough to scare her off. She wasn’t ready to meet my friends. Ms. Daddy Issues faked not feeling well and bolted so fast.

I took that exact moment to log into Facebook and unfriend her before she even left the building. I don’t need a stalker on my hands.

Always (and I mean ALWAYS) look for a photo that shows your potential date’s teeth. Or else you may end up dating a female version of Austin Powers.

Good riddance Ms. Daddy Issues,
Crosby

(Do you have a dating story? We’d love to hear from you! Send your stories to down2datemail@gmail.com and we’ll include you in an upcoming blog. As always, you’ll be anonymous!)

(Photo Credit: Rutger van Waveren, Flickr)

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