Now that we’ve taken a dive into Tinder-land, let’s go deeper and see what happens after you’ve both swiped right. Let’s call this the Tinder Timeline.
How soon is too soon to start chatting it up? Where does it cross the line from cute to creepy when asking for someone’s phone number? And, most importantly, how soon do you plan to meet with your potential soulmate?
I’ve had experiences ranging from normal, to semi-sane, to the absolute nth of crazy since joining this super superficial dating app. Don’t get me wrong, I have had a ton of fun swiping left and right based on nothing other than a few cute pictures and (maybe) a couple of descriptive sentences.
In no other social setting – except maybe speed dating – would this be acceptable dating behavior. “Normally,” (I say that with quotations because what is normal dating these days anyway?!) you’d meet a guy or girl in a social setting or through friends, have an exchange of small talk before deciding whether or not to pursue the conversation further. Then hopefully if all goes well, one of you would leave with the other’s number by the end of the night.
Granted, all of that is in a perfect world. Now those of us who have entered the world of Tinder know that the timeline seems to have sped up, or down, depending on the situation. All I have is my experience to go from so I’ll share the proper Tinder Timeline according to moi.
- The guy should always initiate the conversation. Call me old-fashioned, but I’m just that way. If they open with an obvious pick up line or anything sexually related, block them immediately. If he opens with any kind of obvious pick up line or anything sexual I immediately block him. Tacky. Just tacky.
- That being said, I don’t want a guy to immediately start chatting with me after we’ve matched. It just screams desperate to me. An hour? That’s fine. Two minutes? Approaching the creep line at a swift pace.
- Should the conversation go smoothly for a day or two then I think it’s appropriate for the guy – again, because I’m old-fashioned – to ask for the lady’s number. Don’t be too quick to jump on the text. Wait a minute – yes, a whole minute – at least before taking the conversation to the next platform.
- Now that numbers have been swapped please, I beg of, do not ask for pictures in the first 24 hours. Didn’t you just see some on Tinder? Isn’t that why you swiped right? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to validate that you’re talking to who you think you’re talking to (catfish, anyone?) but dear God do NOT ask me for a sexy pic. I don’t know you and furthermore, I’m a lady.
- Here’s where things get sticky… when do you finally go in for that first face-to-face meeting? I’ve made the horrible mistake of jumping in too quickly, which ended with a key to his apartment at our first meeting (no joke!). I’ve also been blown off after weeks of great conversations, phone calls, pictures, etc. I think this one is totally on a case-by-case basis.
Moral of the story is, just be careful ladies and gentlemen. There are some absolute weirdos out there that I’m pretty sure use Tinder just for their sick entertainment purposes. While I’ve definitely been victim of wandering into Tinder-land into the wee hours of the morning it’s become more of a time killer than an app I’d actually consider dating someone from. Who knows? Maybe there’s a guy out there that will change my mind but until then…