The Disappearing Act


It’s not often we get to talk about a Tinder date going well (ok, is it ever? There was that one time…but so far that’s it!). So when I started chatting with a guy who had an amazing sense of humor, sweet smile and adorable pup, I knew I had to give him a shot.

I remember swiping left and right one day on Tinder and stopping on The Disappearing Act’s profile. I was torn. I went through his four photos several times before swiping yes — he wasn’t my typical guy. His looks weren’t what intrigued me, it was something else. Something I couldn’t put my finger on but it was there.

His opening line was amazing. He had me laughing before I could even respond. I was sitting at the park enjoying a spring day when he first messaged me so we ended up having a 30-minute chat right then and there (sorry, Stella! I didn’t follow your timeline.). We got all the icebreakers out of the way so when we met we could get right down to the fun.

The DA had amazing taste in music (extra points for this because I’m a music snob!) and we discussed our favorite bands and venues and had a great conversation. He was working and told me he’d text me that night to see what I was up to.

My best friend and I were heading to see a band play and lo and behold, while we were there, The DA texted me. I was actually surprised. How often does a guy say he’s going to call and actually do it? Those are two very different things.

He just so happened to be in my favorite area of town, so we said “maybe” we’d run into each other after I left the show. I had a few drinks to try and calm my nerves and for the first time in a while, I actually felt butterflies to meet someone. I was so excited!

When I got to the bar, he wasn’t even there yet. My bff & I grabbed a table and met some other people, new and old, while we waited. I saw him the moment he walked in (but I pretended not to…the nerves kicked in and the vodka wasn’t helping) and initially, I wasn’t that impressed. He looped around the bar and found me a while later.

The first time I saw him smile, I understood how he was attractive. He seemed genuine and easy going. I was excited about hanging out with him! Only thing was, he didn’t hang out. After thirty minutes, we were leaving and he was staying so we said our goodbyes — I was bummed — but hoped I’d see him again. When we got to my favorite little pub, I got a notification!

“You have a new message from _____!”

That’s right, I had a Tinder message. I had been trying to meet up with this one decently attractive guy for two nights so I spent the next hour with him (hint: he’s the Jealous Joey) before that went sour and The DA called.

“How’s the bar? Can I come meet up with you?”

Obviously, I agreed — I was even a little excited. We hung out the rest of the night, chatting, drinking and laughing. We stayed until the bar’s lights came on and the security guard kicked us out.

“Want to split a cab home?”

And be able to kiss this guy goodnight? Heck yeah! I made sure my friend had a ride and left with The DA. Somehow we ended up back at his house with 3 a.m. McDonald’s cheeseburgers and fries.

“I’ll take you home after we eat.”

I knew this wouldn’t end up happening, but I was ok with getting to spend a little more time with him. We tiptoed past his roommates and went to his room, where I got to meet the adorable pup I’d seen in his Tinder pictures. I was really intrigued. An adorable animal lover with a great taste in music?! I’d hit the jackpot.

We stayed up late talking sports and music before he finally leaned in and kissed me. It was a GREAT first kiss! Perfect sync, good breath (we’d brushed them after our burgers), strong attraction — what else did I need? The best part was he stopped at the kiss (well, several kisses). He didn’t try and get me to sleep with him. He didn’t have roaming hands. It was nice.

We cuddled for a few minutes before falling asleep. The next morning, he brought me home, kissed me and told me he’d call me soon. I left feeling great. I’d finally hit it off with someone enough to maybe develop a crush. This was the exciting part!

Except that Sunday went by and he didn’t call. That Tuesday went by and he didn’t call. That Thursday went by….no call. By the weekend, I’d given up but lo and behold who did I run into on Saturday? The DA playing tonsil hockey with some girl. Talk about awkward.

I danced and sang and enjoyed the concert we were both at, but I couldn’t help but occasionally look behind me and see him with his make out buddy. Once again…

Tinder Tragedy.

Dame Dessa


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