The Return of Mimic Octopus


Guess who’s back? Back again. The Mimic Octopus has made his way back into my life — and subsequently, my blog. 

Since I last wrote about Mr. Mimic Octopus, I have turned him down on three separate occasions. I’d dodged three different dates he wanted to take me on and steered clear of flirty conversations he tried to have multiple times. This guy did not like to be told “no.”

Now as I mentioned in my first post about MO, I was pretty drunk the night we met and I didn’t exactly remember what he looked like. This next text from him came with a photo.

Imagine this photo: An acne-faced, gap-toothed guy making a serial killer face — wearing a beanie.

As if that wasn’t enough, right behind his face was an aquatic blue plastic shower curtain. That’s right — a dark blue waterscape with various fish and sea creatures. You know…the kind made for 5-year-olds.

I stifled a laugh but it was just so bad! MO then began to tell me, after I cracked a joke at the expense of his shower curtain, that he needed to redecorate because…”…the last two bathroom themes had both been ‘aquatics.'” WTF?! No wonder you are a 32-year-old SINGLE man.

I’m proud to report that it has been quite some time and I have not heard from the MO after this exchange. Lets hope it stays that way.

Dame Dessa


(Photo Credit: Waro 1988, Tumblr)


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