I have The Bert Show to thank for this update on my Dating Antichrist story which was my inspiration to start this blog with Dame Dessa. It’s been almost three months now since my D.A. and I broke up and for the most part things have been going well. For some reason lately things have been tough. I’ve re-entered the dating world with little success (see here or here for some examples) but have been putting myself out there nonetheless. Two months, no problems. So why am I now getting all sentimental about an unfulfilling, dead-end relationship that I was miserable in?
Like I said, it’s been almost three months since we ended things. It was a clean break. No late night phone calls, texts, midnight drive-bys to see if there were new girls over at his place, nothing. I completely cut it off and was moving on with my life. I dove head first into this blog as a healthy outlet and ended up on Tinder and OkCupid, which has been an adventure in itself.
Needless to say, I’ve held very strong and haven’t broken down once (although there have been moments when I’ve had to have friends urge me not to contact him when I’d be thinking, “Why hasn’t he called me?”). But something has changed over the past couple of weeks. I’ve gotten to that stage where I’m romanticizing the bad situations into good ones and am missing the idea of who this man was and what I thought he represented in my life. I even started sleeping in his old t-shirts again. The images that are rolling through my mind aren’t actual portrayals of what our relationship, or even he, was like…more of what I wanted them/him to be like. I guess that’s why he’s my D.A…
So what’s a girl to do? One of my closest friends has suggested a bonfire compiled of all the things that were his – old sweatshirts, t-shirts and the like – as to cleanse myself of any and all physical representations I have left. There really isn’t a reason to keep them anyway. She assures me thinking about him again is all part of the healing process but I’m impatient and I want to stop wasting my time thinking about him now. I know that these things take time but hell, it’s been a certain amount of time and I’m ready to be over it. At least I hope I am.
For now I know all I can do is rely on my friends and hold on through the weak moments. I’ll continue to be strong and not give in and reach out to him. I know it’s just a phase and I will come out stronger on the other side. I think it’s taken this for me to realize how much a breakup can affect your life especially when you thought you were “in love.” But no worries, I’ll be back in the dating game soon! All will be well.
I’m open for any and all advice no matter how big or small to help me get over this hump! Please comment below or send suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks for reading!
– Searching Stella
(Photo Credit: admitchell08, Flickr)