The Grinding Guy


After I got my heart broken one too many times, I decided to join good ole Tinder. After days and weeks of swiping, I finally started chatting with a very handsome guy who just so happened to be from my hometown. Since we were miles and miles away from there, it was a nice change and made me feel at home. So when he asked if we could meet up that weekend, it was hard to say no.

Devin and I met at a crowded bar when both of our friends were there, just to be a little extra safe. I spotted him at a table near the bar and he was just as handsome as I had hoped but since this was my very first meet-up, I was a blonde ball of nerves. We texted, both knowing we were in the same place, but hadn’t yet met up.

I went to the bar to get a drink when lo and behold, he emerged from the bathroom and joined me. We chatted for a little while, both of us still nervous despite the liquid courage and then joined our group of friends. We had a great time together, had a lot in common and both talked about how much we missed our hometown.

The night passed and the evening was over before I’d even felt like it began. We hugged goodbye and we couldn’t wait to see each other again — that very next night. We made plans to watch a football game together and that’s when my awkward dating moment happened. As I mentioned in that post, he still asked me for a second date and then a third and a couple months later we were still hanging out — and I couldn’t have been happier.

Christmas rolled around and we dressed up like Santa and Mrs. Clause and spent a night on the town with both of our friends. It went so well — for the most part. I’m not a jealous person per say, but after a while, Devin had disappeared and was dancing with my friend. The sexy ass-in-crotch grinding that we were all good at in college. This was a little weird for me but I didn’t let it phase me. I trusted her…and him.

I smiled at him, hoping he was ready to leave for the next stop on our bar crawl. Devin smiled back and then immediately looked down at “my friend’s” ass and started grinding again. A few minutes passed. Then a few more. That’s when things began to get awkward. I tapped him on the shoulder…nothing. Eventually I got fed up and walked out of the bar.

Devin came running after me and fed me apology after apology and, being the decent human being I am, I realized I should let it go and maybe I was being a little rash (or was I?!). I told him I was fine and wanted to take things a little slower but that he shouldn’t worry…and I meant it…until a Facebook message was forwarded to me.

The “friend” of mine texted me telling me she was talking to Devin on Facebook and mentioned that he said I “overreacted.” It’s one thing to think I overreact. It’s another thing to tell someone else instead of me (never mind the fact that you blatantly ignored me…).

I confronted Devin who then sent me a three page Facebook convo between the two. It went a little something like this:

Friend: I’m so glad you and Dame worked things out.
Devin: Me too. I really, really like her.
F: I keep telling her to be nice to you…and to realize you’re a nice guy. She’s a cool girl.
D: She really is. She’s really special and I REALLY like her. What kind of guys does she usually date?
F: Asshole musicians mostly, but she has a lot of guy friends and that tends to scare them away. I never met her ex though.
D: Well, I’m a musician but try not to be an asshole. Hope I didn’t **** it up by dancing with you. I didn’t mean anything by it.
F: Yeah, she was being dumb. Well, I’m off the gym now. I gotta work on my ass. Keep it tight for grinding. 😉
D: I know. I felt that. 😉

WAIT?! WHAT?! Is this real life?! Not only did she purposefully bring up her ass and make fun of how I “overreacted” but my newest dude, Devin, was reiterating how close his genitals got to it and how much he liked it. How sweet.

Needless to say, I stopped being friends with the fit girl and Devin is no longer in my dating calendar. I’ve forgiven them both but relationships should be built on a foundation of trust, not insecurity, and I didn’t have that here.

Dame Dessa


(Featured Photo Credit: Vale the Kid, Flickr)


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