It’s a topic most of us have approached at one point or another in our lives. The age old, “We can still be friends” is one of the most dreaded break-up lines I remember hearing and saying – mostly in college – when I didn’t want to say what was really on my mind. It’s the ultimate break-up cop out. You’re trying to let them down easy so you can walk away guilt free. Or even worse, you’re the one it’s being said to and you know they’re full of crap. Either way staying friends with an ex is tricky business. Let’s dive in a little deeper and see whether it’s really feasible or not.
I’ll be the first to admit that I suck at staying friends with my exes. At least at first. It’s hard for me to make the emotional switch from having a romantic relationship to a platonic one. My brain – and heart – take awhile to come around to the idea. I have found that time is the ultimate determinant for me in this equation.
There was a guy I dated in college – we’ll call him Chris – for over 2 years. He was the first person to ever really break my heart and I never in a million years thought it would be possible to have a cordial conversation with him. But here we are 7 years later and we have casual Facebook conversations every once in awhile. Nothing too serious – he cheated on me with my best friend for 6 months after all – but just a casual hi and bye is normally enough to suffice his need to reach out to me.
Like the article below suggests the way in which the relationship ended is a huge determinant on whether or not you’ll be able to stay friends with your ex. Was it an equal parting that both people peacefully decided on together? High probability you’ll make the transition. Did one – or both – of you throw the others clothes onto the front lawn and light them on fire? Hate to say it but the odds don’t seem to be in your favor.
What do you think? Have you had any successful romantic to friend transitions you’d like to share? Send us your stories! firstname.lastname@example.org
– Searching Stella
(Photo Cred: Satish Krishnamurthy, Flickr)