I’m going to get real honest with this post. There’s something that’s really been bothering me and I need to get it off my chest. I haven’t been having the best luck lately with Tinder and OKCupid – or as Dame Dessa and I call it OKStupid – and it’s left me feeling a little discouraged. There have been days that have gone by with only a match or two when my finger feels cramped from swiping left and right repetitively. It’s led me to a retrospective place about the whole dating game in general. And that’s when it hit me. Dating really is just that – a game.
After I got my heart broken one too many times, I decided to join good ole Tinder. After days and weeks of swiping, I finally started chatting with a very handsome guy who just so happened to be from my hometown. Since we were miles and miles away from there, it was a nice change and made me feel at home. So when he asked if we could meet up that weekend, it was hard to say no.
Everyone has different ideas on what it’s like to fall in love. I recently began reading Chuck Kolsterman’s Killing Yourself to Live and while the entire book has blown me away, so far it was this particular segment that focuses on love – both past and future ones – that grabbed my heart and has stuck with me ever since.
By now most of you know that I’m in Alcoholics Anonymous – see Sober Dating in a Drinking World – and am also divorced – see Dating After Divorce – so dating for me is no easy task. Plus on top of all of that I’m a single mom. It’s like the anti-dating trifecta. Could things be more difficult? Actually forget I said that.. it’s like an open invitation for complications. Either way, while working through my steps my sponsor had me do an exercise that has helped me identify what I do and don’t want in a partner. I call it my list of requirements.
For the past year or so I had voluntarily taken myself off the dating market. After multiple attempts at first dates I was at a standstill. For one reason or another they just weren’t working out. I was in a different country for most of that year and had managed to keep myself busy with work, friends and me time – who doesn’t need that? Needless to say dating wasn’t at the top of my priority list.
This is what happens when you don’t listen to your friends people…take it from me! Dame Dessa had it all spelled out in Five Terrible Tinder Cliches to Avoid but did I listen when Mr. Ab-licious asked me out? Nooooooo. That would be too easy. It wasn’t enough that his profile clearly stated he was a workout-maniac, much unlike myself, but he proceeded to send me ab and nearly naked self photos on the days leading up to our big date. Did I pay attention to any of those red flags? Of course not.
Oh, Tinder! We all know and love it (sometimes) but those of us over here at Down 2 Date are tired of seeing some cliché, silly Tinder bios. If it doesn’t really tell us much about you, leave it off. Most people seem to have missed that memo and we’re here to help! We’ve combined our brains — and asked for outsider’s opinions — to come up with a list of all the bad Tinder bios we see regularly.