I’m going to get real honest with this post. There’s something that’s really been bothering me and I need to get it off my chest. I haven’t been having the best luck lately with Tinder and OKCupid – or as Dame Dessa and I call it OKStupid – and it’s left me feeling a little discouraged. There have been days that have gone by with only a match or two when my finger feels cramped from swiping left and right repetitively. It’s led me to a retrospective place about the whole dating game in general. And that’s when it hit me. Dating really is just that – a game.
It’s a topic most of us have approached at one point or another in our lives. The age old, “We can still be friends” is one of the most dreaded break-up lines I remember hearing and saying – mostly in college – when I didn’t want to say what was really on my mind. It’s the ultimate break-up cop out. You’re trying to let them down easy so you can walk away guilt free. Or even worse, you’re the one it’s being said to and you know they’re full of crap. Either way staying friends with an ex is tricky business. Let’s dive in a little deeper and see whether it’s really feasible or not.
I stumbled upon this hilarious clip of Aziz Ansari this morning while drinking my coffee. He shows how texting has had an adverse effect on dating, comparing it to being the secretary of a shady company. Aziz animatedly goes on to show the typical dating routine that has been – sadly – accepted by our generation.
This is what happens when you don’t listen to your friends people…take it from me! Dame Dessa had it all spelled out in Five Terrible Tinder Cliches to Avoid but did I listen when Mr. Ab-licious asked me out? Nooooooo. That would be too easy. It wasn’t enough that his profile clearly stated he was a workout-maniac, much unlike myself, but he proceeded to send me ab and nearly naked self photos on the days leading up to our big date. Did I pay attention to any of those red flags? Of course not.
Fancy restaurants starting to break the bank? Feel like there’s no new movies out? Tired of taking your lady for drinks at the same bars? Why not invite your honey over and spend a date night in? We’ve got 10 unique stay at home date ideas that will help impress your significant other while enjoying some quality time together.
I’ve accomplished many things in my (short) adulthood and divorce is one of those things on that list. For the anonymity of everyone involved let’s call him Todd. The long and the short of it is this, Todd and I were young, stupid and in lust. Not love — lust. I was a single mom looking to make a family and he was an addict looking for someone to take care of him. The relationship was doomed from the very beginning. I’ll skip the gory details and launch into the waters I’m surfing now…dating after divorce.
We recently got an email from a reader who was asking for advice. We want to preface this by saying we don’t have all the answers, we’re learning just like you! This poor girl was worried because she says all of her friends loathe her boyfriend — that’s right all of them, not one or two. What do you do in this situation? Lose your friends? Lose the significant other? We dive head first into this tricky topic.